Something that helps me stay positive about my life is reflecting on how far I’ve come and the life lessons I’ve learned through the years.
This not only helps me see what mistakes I have made, but it also reminds me that I’ve made good decisions along the way. Whether my choices have been good or bad, I’ve received a lot of valuable life lessons through these experiences.
A friend of mine is going through some big life changes, and I remember going through similar in just the last five years of my life. She is having a hard time seeing all the progress she has made in a short period of time. I recall struggling with seeing the positive during those times of change and upheaval. I reminded her that it is during this time that she is discovering what is most important to her, and it’s an opportunity to create the life she wants.
Speaking to her has helped me reflect on how far I’ve come. There is so much wisdom gained from those difficult moments when we are forced to make big decisions. As I look back, I can see what mistakes I’ve made and where I made good choices. There is such value in being able to self-reflect and see how far I’ve come.
While there have been ups and downs, overall, life is good, and I am very fortunate. I have great friends, a loving family, a happy marriage, wonderful dogs, a business that I love, and a life full of adventure.
In honor of my friend going through her big life changes, I thought it would be a good time to share some of the most important financial and life lessons learned in the first half of my life. Some of these will seem obvious, but everything I’ve listed is what makes me who I am today. I would love to hear about which ones clicked for you and others that you have found to be true for your journey.
Top Money and Life Lessons Learned
1. Follow your YES-
Positive outcomes came almost every time I felt a “yes.” Whenever I was forcing, pushing, or resisting, things didn’t turn out well. Knowing when something is a “yes” to you can help you find YOUR way through life, not someone else’s.
2. Listen to and take care of your body-
Your health is your true wealth! If you don’t have that, you can’t really enjoy life. Eat things that bring you more energy. Exercise, stretch and relax a few times a week. Get health checkups. Keep a health journal of things you react to such as medications, foods, and environmental factors.
3. Learn to say no-
You don’t have to accommodate, please, or be there for everyone. Saying ‘yes’ to everyone and everything can sometimes lead to overwhelm and stress. People may take advantage of you or learn to depend on you. Saying ‘no’ can be good for both you and them because it forces them to become resourceful and also make their own decision from their own heart.
4. Be open to trying new things-
How often do you change your route home? When was the last time you traveled to a new location? What is your normal response when someone asks you if you would like to do something new? Saying ‘yes’ to opportunities can open you up to the flow of life.
5. Know your highest values-
Knowing what’s most important to you can help give you clues about what to add more of in your life. If you value family, make sure to add in quality time with them. If you value adventure, add in travel and new experiences. Also, find out the values of those closest to you to encourage them to do the things they love as well.
6. Hang around positive and inspiring people-
Choose the people you listen to and share time with carefully. In every case when I faced a huge challenge in my life, I surrounded myself with positive and nurturing people and removed negative people. This always helped me learn faster, feel more lighthearted and enjoy the process of change.
7. Gain control of your finances-
When your money situation is out of control, it can cause a lot of stress. Paying off debt, living within your means, and earning and saving for retirement, are all practices that can be easily applied. Once these basic money lessons are learned, build upon them by developing investment skills. Then create a passive income business and leverage when appropriate.
8. Money isn’t everything-
While having money can be nice, it isn’t what makes you a better person. Money is simply a tool to help you enjoy a better life. Many people let money rule their life. They start earning more and spending more, and then they get trapped in a cycle. Living simply and reducing spending can offer an immense amount of relief. Look for clues in your own life where you might be using money to appear a certain way to others. Then take a moment to see if this aligns with your own values.
9. Don’t react to others-
Sometimes people are going through something or say things based on past experiences. One of the most valuable life lessons I’ve learned is to not take things personally. The only thing you can control is your own reaction. Let others go through what they are going through and simply observe. Of course if they need a helping hand, offer one.
10. Help from your heart-
Whenever you make time to contribute to something that is important to you, you not only help others, but you also feel a sense of purpose and connection. Small gestures and a positive attitude can even be a form of giving. Compliment someone on their clothes or hair. Foster an animal or give to an organization that helps. Be a big brother or sister. Sit with a senior and share a laugh.
11. Laughter can heal-
No matter what you are going through, try to have a light heart and laugh through life. Bringing a smile to someone in a time of need can immediately help them when other things like money or assistance may not. If someone is struggling with a death in their family or hardship, have them focus on good memories and surrender the need to know why. As my dad always tells me, “live your life in an upward trend!”
12. Constantly clear clutter-
Eliminating old items from your life can create space and help you feel less overwhelmed. Less clutter also means you don’t have to waste time taking care of all that stuff.
13. Pay yourself first-
I was never able to build up my savings until I started implementing the concept of “pay yourself first.” Set aside a specific amount of money each month in a savings account through automatic deposit. Make sure you do this before paying bills or buying things you want for the month. After you feel comfortable doing this for so many months, increase the amount until you are saving 25 to 50 percent of your income.
14. Just start-
When trying to tackle a big task or something that may require focus or dedicated effort, it can be easy to procrastinate or delay a project. Simply start and allow yourself a good 15 to 20 minutes to get into the flow. Then at some point, an hour to two hours will have gone by and you will be so glad you started. This is true for writing, tackling debt, working out, home projects and more.
15. Be open to many options-
It’s easy to think the situation we are in is the ONLY option. But really, there are usually many options if we explore things that might feel or seem uncomfortable. If you are feeling stuck in a particular area of life, it could be a great time for a brainstorm session and then try a few things on the list just to see. Consider this a time of “flirting” or “trying on” something new. You don’t have to take it home! It doesn’t have to be permanent. If anything, it will give you more clarity.
16. Save more when the money is flowing-
Increase your savings rate to 40 or 50 percent when you are making a higher income or you are coming into more money. It’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of making more and spending more. Instead, as you make more, increase your automatic deposit to your savings so you don’t have access to the extra pay and spend it too easily. This is one of the best money life lessons I learned from my stepdad.
17. When the answer isn’t clear, take a break-
It can be easy to spin your wheels over a decision especially when it isn’t clear which choice to make. How many times have you tried really hard to find an error in your bank book only to step away for a moment and come back and see the answer right away? Taking a break can help you get a fresh perspective and sometimes the answer simply presents itself. This is true for many things in life including relationships, career, and major life changes.
18. Aim to be early-
One of the kindest things I’ve learned to do for myself through the years is to leave early to give myself more time. I feel more relaxed and peaceful if I am not having to rush. I’ve also found the extra time allows me to explore, get something I need and get situated.
19. Adopt a pet-
Fostering an animal can bring you companionship and laughter. Animals have a way of reducing stress, and they can help you to get outside for walks.
20. Create a plan and set your course for success-
Having no plan is a plan to fail. Set aside time to create a plan and then stick to it. Make your goals realistic and be specific. Also, make sure to set a time frame for when you will complete your plan.
21. Let go of regrets-
When people on their death bed were interviewed about life lessons and what they wish they would have done differently, many suggested to let go of regrets. You can’t change the past, and there is no point in dwelling on things you can’t change. Forgive quickly. And then live and love from the present moment forward.
22. Cherish quality time with loved ones-
Another thing the dying mention is wishing they had spent more time with loved ones. Build quality time with your family members into your plans for the year. Discover new restaurants or fun things to do with them. As family members age, ask them how you can support their needs and dreams. I’ve made it a point to take my mom to concerts every year because she loves music. Those are some of my favorite memories of time spent together.
23. Find balance-
You are not a machine! I have a very big opinion about this one. Too many people give over their lives to their jobs and bosses. I struggled with this as a business owner when I owned my first business. No one taught me how to let go, get help and delegate. It wasn’t until I was completely burnt out from staying up until 2 in the morning to get everything done that I realized I couldn’t keep up that crazy pace. I finally got help and got my sanity back. If you work for someone else, I have two words for you, “push back.” It’s okay to draw the line for your own health and happiness.
24. You attract more bears with honey-
One of the greatest life lessons I’ve learned is kindness generally wins the day. If your attitude stinks, people will mirror you to help you see it. If you need help with something, the way to get people to excitedly want to help is by asking nicely and offering a reward.
25. Think before you speak, and listen more-
Words hold a lot of power. It’s tempting to want to prove you are right or to get someone back when they say something mean. One way to diffuse a situation quickly is to ask for clarification by using, “Do you mean…?” Then ask this a few times until you finally arrive at or understand what they were thinking. Many times you will be surprised at what you learn.
What money and life lessons have you learned through the years?
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